Good afternoon, all. I am back from a weekend full of fun, little sleep, and more fun. I went with our youth group to the 4H Center for an overnight stay. It was a blast. The youth are slowly starting to have fun as a group and not just as a few couples here and there. Most of the afternoon and evening activities were trashed because of rain, but that led to a great time of hanging out together and becoming comfortable around each other. We played Battle of the Sexes for about 3 hours and it was awesome! I love trivia and now I have even more useless(ful?) knowledge in my head. I also found out how much more I need to laugh. I realized that I worry a lot about everything. I worry about my health, about my family, and about my personality. I still haven't found the balance of being an adult while not losing the things I feel are a part of who I am. It was brought to my attention that it seems I dwell in the past, that I wish I could be a kid again, which is why I still like toys and videogames. I know there is truth in that; when I was a kid I wished I could have lived in the 50's(my favorite books back then were the Ramona Quimby and Henry Huggins books), so it's not a recent thing necessarily. But there's more to it than that. I can't quite pinpoint what that other is, but it's there. There are times I almost feel like Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up. I know that is selfish of me; I know it would make some people happy if I quit playing videogames or liking comic books or stopped watching cartoons. I want to be a great husband, an awesome dad, and a pleasing son. I want to find and do things that make those come to pass, while not losing the fun aspect of me. I'm proud of my sense of humor, the way I sing, the fact that I am about to be married for 5 years, and have a beautiful daughter. But I've been through a lot of trials the past couple of years and I know how not fun not fun can be. I want to be someone my family and friends can depend on, someone who can be the optimist and hope when a bad situation comes. I want to be a person with good character, strength, someone who is striving for the right thing, the important thing. I want to have my priorities in order. Have a job that can support my wife so she doesn't have to work anymore. I need God to fix my radar so I can distinguish those opportunities from the static things around me. Be someone that loves and cares and has compassion and empathy like I used to. To not worry about how things look or make me look, but to worry only about what God thinks. I know that's the most important thing, it's just getting to that point. If you're reading this and you are a prayer, please pray with me that God will make me who He wants me to be, whoever that is. That's what life boils down to anyway. Being happy in who God made you, fufilling His purpose for you. I was going to put something funny up here today, but this is where I'm at right now and what I'm thinking about. Love and out to all...